"December 22nd 1996 - Sunday This started out different from other days. How different I could never have predicted. Susanna slept well the night before and we actually had a bit of a sleep-in till about 9 a.m. Most days I would get up and feed her, put her down and then get myself organised. But this day, after her feed, I just sat with her and watched her. I sang Christmas carols and some little hymns that my Grandmother used to sing. Later in the day my sister called and marveled at how bright she was. She hadn't seen her looking so alert. She was lying there looking around and kicking her little legs. She had her last feed about 9 p.m. and was lying in her pram, not asleep, just lying there. I wheeled the pram into our room and she was sick. I changed her clothes and wrapped her up again. She was a bit upset, so I cuddled her into me. The next thing I noticed was that her eyes looked 'funny'. I can not describe what they looked like, but I knew something was wrong. Then she sort of coughed and just stopped breathing. I called my husband and he pulled the tube from her nose. We tried to help her to breathe, but it wasn't to be. Our little girl never took another breath. It was 10.30 p.m. She was 9 weeks and 2 days old."   "Thank you Lord for taking her and not letting her suffer. She put up a brave fight but she was struggling and she needed to rest. Amen"   Susanna was buried on Christmas Eve. It was a sunny day and her service was beautiful. Our Priest likened her life to that of an 'apple blossom' and I don't think there is one person who was there that day, that will not remember Susanna every time they see a blossom of any kind.   "December 24th 1996 Dear Susanna, We lay your tiny body to rest on this day, Christmas Eve. You were a brave and courageous little girl who touched our hearts and the hearts of our family and friends. You bought your Daddy and I so much pleasure in having the privilege to know you, to love you and to admire your strength and we know you were our very special gift from God. You gave us a special gift too and that was the joy in being your Mummy and Daddy and being able to love you so much. You've left us many memories to treasure and you will be in our hearts forever. He took you to His kingdom at a very special time and He must have thought you as special as we did to take you at this sacred time. Darling remember that we love you and we did our best. "Our arms may be empty, but our hearts are full". Sleep peacefully 'Poppet', and fly with the Angels in Heaven. Merry Christmas. Love from your Mummy."   "October 18th 1997 Dear Susanna, Today is your 1st birthday. It is one year since you came into our lives. How much we wish we could wake you and kiss your tiny face today. I imagine you having a party with God in His garden, with roses blooming and Angels singing. You blessed our lives and we are truly thankful for each and every day we had together. "Happy Birthday Susanna", With lots of love from Mummy and Daddy XX XX"   "22/12/97 Dear Susanna, Today we remember you with much love. We miss you very much and wish that you could still be here with us today and always. I can't believe it has been one whole year since I held you my arms, but you will always share our life, as we shall never forget you. Prayers and love to you 'Poppet' Love from Your Mummy and Daddy XXXXXXXXXXXX OOOOOOOOOOOO"   "Tuesday December 22nd, 1998 Dear Susanna, Today it is 2 years since you left us. I miss you just as much today as any other day, but today the pain and sadness is bought back and very clear. It is raining here today....it wasn’t raining 2 years ago. The sky was blue and filled with sunshine - that is the effect your presence had on us. Lots of sunshine :-) As I think back over the years, I remember you with much love. I remember the feel of you in my arms... the sound of your cry... the smell of your skin... the love that you surrounded us with... I am looking forward to the future and to the arrival of your little brother or sister. I have such hope..the same hopes I had for you my darling... the same dreams, but he or she will never, ever replace the special bond that we had. You will always be my first child, my daughter, my love, my inspiration... Loving you everyday Poppet, never forgetting, never letting go..... Until we meet again... Mummy. XX"   Susanna's photos, special gifts, toys, videos and all my written memories are kept in a special wooden chest, which my husband made. It is decorated with paintings of bears, painted by my mum and myself. Her photos are in every room and the memories of those special days are always in our hearts.   Susanna's life was not in vain. She taught us many things. I look at things differently now. things that I thought were important just aren't that important anymore. It is now just over 3 years since Susanna passed away and I owe my sanity to "Karen", a wonderful lady, and the terrific support group that she heads in Australia called SOFT. SOFT stands for "Support Organisation for Trisomy". Through SOFT I have met many families who have Trisomy children - they are all different - with different abilities and disabilities, but loving happy children. I was told that all children with Trisomy die. I was also told that there were no living Trisomy children 'anywhere'. That information is completely wrong and inaccurate. While many children do not survive for very long, some do and go on to become very loving, important members of their families.   On March 31st 1999 we were blessed with the arrival of a little sister for Susanna. "Laura Kate" weighed 3550g (7lb 6 1/2oz) at birth. She reminds us a lot of her big sister, yet things are very different this time. Laura is giving us lots of pleasure and we love her very much. There are many times when I find myself comparing our life with Laura to the life we had with Susanna, and wished we had with Susanna...I guess I will always do that... Laura has bought sunshine to our lives again. We shall tell Laura all about her big sister when she grows up. I want her to know what a special sister she has in Heaven :-)) On 6th June 2001 we were blessed again by the arrival of another precious daughter, little sister for Susanna and Laura, "Clare Anna" weighed 3650g (8lb 1oz). Clare is very different from her sisters - with dark curly hair! She is a delight and we welcomed her into our family with much love.   Be aware of the beauty of your child who leaves your side soon after you have met This loss removes the touch, but not the memories This silence is not an ending but a voice of comfort and peace. Remember your child like a flower to a garden Enjoy it's beauty while it lasts Then let the memory linger in your heart....

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